FiveMinutes

Sometimes it takes only five minutes

Five minutes to loose someone you love or win them back

Five minutes to say or do the right thing,

And

Five minutes to fuck it all up

Five minutes in which your world can break into pieces

or fortify

Five fucking minutes

Just five

And depending where you’re at

Those five minutes can pass like the snap of a finger

Or just feel endless

Five minutes

And you could stop breathing out of nowhere

Five minutes

And you could be on a plane to New York

Five minutes

And you could be having sex, a scotch

Or

Fiddling with your fingers in a corner before growing the balls to ask them out

Five minutes

It only takes five minutes for you

to stop being the you,

you were five minutes before.

Five minutes

For your world o become interchangeable

Five minutes to see the truth or accept the lie

Five fucking minutes

Just five

Minute per minute

300 hundred seconds of pure agony or euphoria

Still five minutes in which the course of your life can take so many different forms and lead towards many strange ways

But are you loosing five minutes of your life?

Or winning them?

So don’t ask me where I’ll be in the future

My future is 5 minutes from now

And so many things

Oh, so many things

Could happen between now

And

Five minutes

Just.

Five.

Fucking.

Minutes.

Killed the narrator

most of the time when i start writing what i guess will end up looking or being a poem 

i ask myself 

what do i want from this

or 

what do i want to give from this 

the effect i suppose 

the feeling 

the counterattack

from

the person that scares me the most

and to whom 

i scare the most 

you 

and i wonder

if someone was ever to ask me

the questions

that i ask myself

what would i say?

Ragazze

My girls have devil eyes

They love the rain of hellfire wrath

They swim in pools of steaming lust

They send you kisses made of angel hair dust

And they kill with truths sins can’t hide

Tears of holy water and deadly smiles of angelical bats

My girls will love you in a tender sweetness and if you break their little hearts

They’ll rip your dreams and hopes apart

You know sinners like these are wild roses that rash

There’s no sympathy for the devil said The Rolling Stones

But there is for his spoilt nymphs and thats more than what dear old Lucifer will ever need

If his playful angels are on demand

So watch out watch out when you get close

To one of my girls

They like the sounds of techno whines

Neon colors and stardust signs

They like many things, but most of them to be surprised

So watch out watch out

When you go outside and get too close to one of those

Drinking wine in crowded bars

Blowing up in red silk at the entrance of any club

Putting lipstick as they wink from mirrors with no glass

Those that drown your gasp in Cleopatra’s phantoms eyes

Cause once you get close there’s no coming back

They know better than to go for something they can’t have

They know better than to let you in without no madness or thunder nearby

They won’t bore you, but if you bore them believe me when I say

They won’t come back once they walk away

«Dear Parents»

Dear parents I am sorry that my expectations of my reality don’t adjust to the same ones as yours.

Dear parents I am sorry that I am actually not sorry at all that we see things in such a different way.

Dear parents I will never be who you want me to be, because it has nothing to do with who I am.

Dear parents I love you for the grounds you’ve raised me around, but I will hate you if you don’t give me the space to create my own ones from there.

Dear parents I understand these are different times, and that my generations ideas has nothing to do with your generation’s ideas – I hope you understand this is essential for my voice to be mine and not a replay of yours.

Dear parents I’ve tried drugs but that doesn’t make me stupid or not want to do anything with my life.

Dear parents you don’t have to worry the only thing I’m addicted to is living the life I want.

Dear parents thanks for saying ‘yes’ more times than ‘no’ when I’ve needed it the most, you’ve saved my life more than once.

Dear parents I know it’s stupid, but thank you for driving me around until I got my license I know you hate it.

Dear parents I know you just want the best for me, and that you never cease to work hard for my own benefit but you have to know only because you don’t have substantial proof of my gratitude yet, it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Dear parents I know my education and my lifestyle consumes you economically and continuously. It is not my intention to drain you, and one of my primal desires is to set you free from such responsibility.

Dear parents I don’t want to see you suffer for my ego’s lust, you have to understand I don’t mean to pain you constantly but you pain me when you repeatedly turn a blind eye to see the truth of what I want.

Dear parents I am young and my freedom is the most important thing for me please don’t chain me away from that when we don’t agree.

Dear parents I respect you, but I don’t think I will have gained your respect until you believe in me enough as to give me the space I need from your constant nagging that only builds anxieties inside my torso, a constant slap on my neck.

Dear parents my future is mine – only because you helped me get there through my childhood and innocence doesn’t mean it is yours to rule.

Dear parents you are the lights of my life, who are constantly on even when I try the hardest to shut you out, and I am grateful for your strength against my tantrums every night.

Dear parents I am yours forever because I love you, not because I owe you.

Dear parents I don’t know how to be a parent as much as you don’t know what it is to be a child, and be constantly looked down at instead of directly in the eye when most needed – which is now.

Dear parents my worst fear is to let you down, but my greatest dream is to prove you that I don’t need you as much as you think.

Dear parents I don’t know where I’d be without you since you have given me everything I’ve ever needed always, but don’t hold that over me when we fight.

Dear parents I am not ungrateful, I just don’t want (my) life to be in debt for your nature’s role.

Dear parents your silence aches me more than the hardest heartbreak, but your words shouldn’t be used against mine all the time.

Dear parents I know it’s difficult to see me grow up but I’ll always be your little girl whilst you don’t treat me as such.

Dear parents I know I’ve lied to you, but please trust me when I say it wasn’t to hurt you but to do the contrary.

Dear parents I know you want me to be my best version of me, but I can’t always keep up with your high expectations when I have my own for me to keep up to and that matter more.

Dear parents I know we don’t always get along, and that recently we only fight but I hope one day we can meet in a place where there is no right or wrong, just understanding and respect.

Dear parents I’m scared you’ll stop liking me for who I’ve become or for who I like to hang around with- I just hope you see that you are still my family even if I’ve found another one on the streets.

Dear parents our values will always match, and I’m a better person every day for everything you’ve taught me, but please understand even if I try my hardest to be good, I can fall into the trap of being bad too.

Dear parents I am human, not a prodigal daughter that has to sit on a pedestal in your head all the time.

Dear parents let be me weak, as much as you want me to be strong.

Dear parents I know you see me, so stop filtering the view with false illusions of who you think you want to be looking at.

Dear parents I love supporting you, so please, support me too when I don’t agree with you.

Dear parents don’t take it so seriously when I insult you, I know it may hurt, but you say hurtful things too which you don’t have the right to say either only cause you’re the “authoritarian figure.”

Dear parents I don’t like following rules and I don’t like having people telling me what to do, that includes you too – but understand it’s not me being against you, it’s just me being for me.

Dear parents the world is very cruel, and there are times when I’m scared it’ll eat me up someday so thank you for giving me a safe place to call home when I need a rest from it all.

Dear parents I don’t love mom more than dad, or dad more than mom, we just connect differently therefore my love for you is on the same level but in a different game.

Dear parents thank you for giving me a hand to stand up when I’m bleeding on the ground, I know whatever happens you’ll never turn your back when I’m down.

Dear parents I fall in love with whoever I fall in love, and it’s nobody else’s business but mine.

Dear parents I want to give you everything, but until I do, I still need you to help me get there.

Dear parents you make me happy all the time, even when you stress me, but please don’t give me the responsibility for yours, it will kill me – mine doesn’t account to you, it’s just there.

Dear parents things are just the way they are, stop trying to convince me your perspective is the better one because “you’re older” and you “know more”- when the things you know have nothing to do with the things that are now going on with me.

Dear parents I will always listen to you and take your words very seriously as to consider them, but don’t think I’m betraying you just cause I don’t act up on them in the end.

Dear parents I’m tired of this power struggle of who’s right and who’s wrong of where I should be and I am, or stop complaining about how I do nothing when all I do is try.

Dear parents I love you, can you love me without so much war in between?

Dear parents I don’t want to look back someday and feel a bullet in my chest burn every second of the day because we never got through and don’t speak anymore in the future’s today.

Dear parents you will always be my parents and I’ll never stop being there, I love you forever.

And last of all

Dear parents you’ll never read this, but it’s there.

the trick

the trick is in writing the last thing you want people to read

whether it be about you

whether it be about him

or her

or them

write it in first person

and write it directly at someone

don’t be kind

don’t try to change what you wanted to write into what they’d want to hear

put your mind blank

for however hard it may be

you’ll see it’s so hard you’ll never get it blank

but you’ll be so concentrated on getting it blank

you won’t even notice or care

what you’re writing

or

to who

but to be honest

those are amateurs tricks

every writer knows

the best trick

is to write like a rockstar

another Thursday night

red

white

light green sprinkles

a bath of translucent yellow

flooding

between the redness

and

the whiteness

plus

the specks of night dust

that taste like pepper

most probably are pepper

and it may seem like

I’m trying to sell you my every night meal

as if it came from a 5 star Michellin Restaurant

when really

it just comes from the kitchen I share withother 5 people

I don’t know that well

but the burrata is delicious

and so are

the sundried pesto tomatoes

mixed together in this bowl

covered with the Spanish oil, I brought from home

and the best part of all this dinner

or appetizer for some

Is the goddamn beer

call me a drunk if you want

but it’s the best ingredient

to make this day

that I thought was never going to go away

because to be honest

it was a very bad grey day

and it’s a day that deserves no more than such lousy adjectives to describe it

even if for once the sky was clear in London

I thought I’d never get to writing today

but something changed

I don’t know if it was the food

or the beer

or maybe just me

but I got to it

And the day is not so grey anymore

Fear of all fears

We all fear something

Some fear death

Because it’s closer to the living

Some fear life

Because it seems like it doesn’t have a limit

To fuck you over

And over

And over again

Some fear love

Or think they do

When the only thing they fear is reject

Or being the one that ends up loving more

Or the one that doesn’t know how to love at all

Or the one who doesn’t know when to stop

Some fear change

Because they have no control over it

And other because it rips them from where they were

And sometimes where we are

Is a good place to stay

Or

To be

Some fear the strong

And even the strong may fear the weak

But most importantly

Some fear they have no fears

And that is the biggest deceit

And in my opinion

The worst fear of all

Is to not have any at all

We all have pieces of each fear stuck together as one

Fearing this

And

Fearing that

Even when our eyes say otherwise

Or our lips when they touch

Or the gestures we make with our hands

And the words we choose to spit when its time to attack

Or seduce

Behind it all

We are all scared lonely people

That are never alone

Missing home

The only place where you’re protected from all this black paint

But we can never stay too long home

Or we’ll end up fearing we’ll never leave

And that’s the only fear that’ll know how to dress up so well

We’ll never know it’s there

From all of this

The only thing that matters is

The same thing that always matters

You

And whoever is around you when you’re scared to your shit

to all the kids

to all the kids

to all the kids who never grew up

like me

like peter pan

stuck

in

this past

that feels

like a present

where control is in our favour

and

choices are made by us

and

it’s not even pain

it’s just a hurting thing

some call

the end

the end of an era

the end of a good day

the end

watching how the good things that once were

go away

and

that the world isn’t the dream you’ve been living in for

as long as you left it

this is

what it is

but don’t let that

cripple your soul

like theirs

or stain the corners of your heart

with dirt

from those

who let be taken over

by everything

than

the kid they let down

playing alone

in the playground.

thank you easyjet

I wrote

5 poems

on my flight to Madrid

from

London

two cities

one i love

at a distance

and the other

i exist in

either way

i ordered a glass of sauvignon wine

and olives on the side

in the middle seat

7B

of a man by the window

struggling with insomnia

but eyelids closed down

no theatre to watch from his mind

faking sleep

on the other side

a woman

estimated 45

not really care about the age

she’s reading

i like her

she’s eating a sandwich

i want one

listening to jazz on my stolen headphones

yes

i had to

they’re too expensive

and

my ears bleed if they’re not covered

you can also have your period in your ears

headphones are just tampons

(ewww, would say someone, it’s natural, i’d answer)

the music stops the bleeding at a better length

bad music just lets it pour a heavy rain

anyway

drifting from the point

if

there ever was one

i wrote 5

now

6

poems in a flight home

or at least

one of the places i call home

when i haven’t written for a month

staying at the place

i live in

if this were an essay

i would conclude

since it’s not

this is getting to an end

let’s just say

nothing has to do with anything

and inspiration comes out

when you least expect it

but

deeply really need it

and

i’m not the one that made it happen

it just happened

and it’s happening

now

there’s nothing more beautiful

than

words taking over by themselves

and

humiliating me

if so

sorry nike

you want to write?

then write

what’s that…?

you want to be a porn star?

then be a porn star

you want to travel the world?

pack a bag,buy the ticket and go everywhere

you want to be an artist?

then start

you want to be a CEO?

then win

you want to do whatever the fuck you want to do?

then fuck, do it

you want to sing?

then sing

you want to die?

then start living

you want to love?

then look in a mirror

you want

and want

and want more?

then stop wanting

and

start

doing

do more than what you want

do more than what you need

buy out of your commodities

with

your impulsion

to do

whatever

the

fuck

you want to do

it be alone

or

with your friends

or

family

but

do it

the verb want is out of fashion

just

check out nike

the only good thing they sell

is

their slogan

and

i could be called to court for this

copyright infringement

but

fuck

i want to say it

i want to do it

you bet

i fucking will

so

“Just do it”